Pregnancy

Pregnant and…Alone

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The husband has to work and this has meant that I have been Pregnant and…Alone

Due to work, the husband has had to go on two trips during this pregnancy to New York and both of them have been at 34 and 36 weeks respectively. The 5 hour time difference makes it hard to stay in touch properly and can cause problems with miscommunication, making it feel more isolating.

Obviously, I am not entirely alone, I have my little guy, but when you are pregnant you tend to rely on your support system more and as we spend a lot of time together usually, particularly as we often work from home together, it has been a bit of a shock to the system to deal with things by myself. As well as this, being a parent has ups and downs and dealing with it yourself can be very lonely! I definitely have a new respect for single parents. With this added resentment recently it has meant things have been a little strained which has added to the pregnancy loneliness.

Although it’s not nice, I do understand that he is also sacrificing to support us as the main breadwinner but it’s just hard to deal with, particularly being this far along too which makes me extra on edge! I think we would both be devastated if I went into labour early and he missed it.

So that I don’t get overwhelmed and too tired dealing with everything myself, I have been:

Getting Organised – My little chap and I get our clothes and school uniform out the night before, pack our bags and try to stay ahead for the mornings so we can have an extra 15 minutes in bed! Meal prep has also been a godsend too at getting food on the table quickly in the evenings with minimal effort.
Setting A Routine – We are not normally very big routine people and have a lot of flexibility usually. While the husband is away, we have been relying on an evening and morning routine to make sure that we can fit everything in.
A Car – You’ll know from my previous post “Pregnant and… Driving” that I have recently got a car and this has helped to avoid the stress of walking the 80 minute round trip to school and gives us a great back up!
Talking To The Toddler – We discuss where daddy is, chat and have plenty of cuddles together so that it doesn’t cause any negative behaviour and that he understands that he will be back and doesn’t make him feel sad or lonely. I have needed to remember that he is 5 and not to let my loneliness affect him because he takes his cues from me.

5 Ways To Deal With Pregnancy Loneliness

1.Grab A Bestie

I am very fortunate that I have other amazing people in my life to keep me company and my bestie, in particular, has helped by letting me vent (more than usual), sending me memes and gifs to cheer me up and popping in to say hello for some REAL adult interaction!

2. Videos

For my little guy, he’s been missing daddy, particularly in the morning when the time difference is really noticeable so we have been making videos for him to send and wake up to. In return we have also been getting video updates from daddy about what he’s doing and the different sights that he has seen. Since we can watch these at any time, they have helped to bridge the gap when we are feeling lonely!

3. Binge Watching

There’s nothing like an escape to help you overcome the pregnancy loneliness and I have been enjoying binge watching some of my favourites. Things like Outlander and Poldark are my current favourites for when I am missing the romance!

4. Understanding

This is something I am definitely working on and some days are harder than others! But trying to understand that he’s only away because he has to, goes a long way to quell the loneliness and makes me feel a bit better when counting down the days.

5. Kitty Cuddles

The Toolbox Kitties are readily available for strokes and cuddles and are happy to take up the husband’s spot in bed at night! So I suppose, when I really look at it, I’m not as lonely as I think!

The important part about loneliness, particularly as a parent or pregnant is to talk about it and discuss it, because it is easy to get caught up in your own head and thoughts which can make matters worse. Depression can stem from loneliness and regardless of your situation, finding an outlet is important!