pregnant and alone feature image

Pregnant and…Alone

The husband has to work and this has meant that I have been Pregnant and…Alone

Due to work, the husband has had to go on two trips during this pregnancy to New York and both of them have been at 34 and 36 weeks respectively. The 5 hour time difference makes it hard to stay in touch properly and can cause problems with miscommunication, making it feel more isolating.

Obviously, I am not entirely alone, I have my little guy, but when you are pregnant you tend to rely on your support system more and as we spend a lot of time together usually, particularly as we often work from home together, it has been a bit of a shock to the system to deal with things by myself. As well as this, being a parent has ups and downs and dealing with it yourself can be very lonely! I definitely have a new respect for single parents. With this added resentment recently it has meant things have been a little strained which has added to the pregnancy loneliness.

Although it’s not nice, I do understand that he is also sacrificing to support us as the main breadwinner but it’s just hard to deal with, particularly being this far along too which makes me extra on edge! I think we would both be devastated if I went into labour early and he missed it.

So that I don’t get overwhelmed and too tired dealing with everything myself, I have been:

  • Getting Organised – My little chap and I get our clothes and school uniform out the night before, pack our bags and try to stay ahead for the mornings so we can have an extra 15 minutes in bed! Meal prep has also been a godsend too at getting food on the table quickly in the evenings with minimal effort.
  • Setting A Routine – We are not normally very big routine people and have a lot of flexibility usually. While the husband is away, we have been relying on an evening and morning routine to make sure that we can fit everything in.
  • A Car – You’ll know from my previous post “Pregnant and… Driving” that I have recently got a car and this has helped to avoid the stress of walking the 80 minute round trip to school and gives us a great back up!
  • Talking To The Toddler – We discuss where daddy is, chat and have plenty of cuddles together so that it doesn’t cause any negative behaviour and that he understands that he will be back and doesn’t make him feel sad or lonely. I have needed to remember that he is 5 and not to let my loneliness affect him because he takes his cues from me.

5 Ways To Deal With Pregnancy Loneliness

1.Grab A Bestie

I am very fortunate that I have other amazing people in my life to keep me company and my bestie, in particular, has helped by letting me vent (more than usual), sending me memes and gifs to cheer me up and popping in to say hello for some REAL adult interaction!

2. Videos

For my little guy, he’s been missing daddy, particularly in the morning when the time difference is really noticeable so we have been making videos for him to send and wake up to. In return we have also been getting video updates from daddy about what he’s doing and the different sights that he has seen. Since we can watch these at any time, they have helped to bridge the gap when we are feeling lonely!

3. Binge Watching

There’s nothing like an escape to help you overcome the pregnancy loneliness and I have been enjoying binge watching some of my favourites. Things like Outlander and Poldark are my current favourites for when I am missing the romance!

4. Understanding

This is something I am definitely working on and some days are harder than others! But trying to understand that he’s only away because he has to, goes a long way to quell the loneliness and makes me feel a bit better when counting down the days.

5. Kitty Cuddles

The Toolbox Kitties are readily available for strokes and cuddles and are happy to take up the husband’s spot in bed at night! So I suppose, when I really look at it, I’m not as lonely as I think!

The important part about loneliness, particularly as a parent or pregnant is to talk about it and discuss it, because it is easy to get caught up in your own head and thoughts which can make matters worse. Depression can stem from loneliness and regardless of your situation, finding an outlet is important!

How do you overcome loneliness? Let me know in the comments. 

This post is part of my mini ongoing pregnant series “Pregnant and…” Check out the other posts by clicking on the picture:

The pregnant series "pregnant and..." feature image
With the husband away close to my due date I have been nervous and alone! Here's some ways to deal with pregnancy loneliness and how I am coping.

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Written by Charlotte

Founder at The Mummy Toolbox

33 Comments

  • Louise (#)
    July 2nd, 2017

    Aww, bless your heart. You definitely rely on having a bit of support when you’re in the late stages of pregnancy. Although having said that, the day I went in to labour I was glad my other half was at work as he would have driven me mad. I knew there was no point going to hospital until my contractions were really regular, and he would have insisted on going straight away! LOL

    Louise x

  • London Mumma (#)
    July 2nd, 2017

    Sorry you felt alone, but it does make you stronger, trust me I know my daughters father was not around period for the whole pregnancy or for many years after, just count your blessings you had someone, even though he was temporarily gone, you know he will return.

  • Kathleen - Bloggers Lifestyle (#)
    July 1st, 2017

    It must help to have friends to talk to. It would be wonderful when he gets home, hopefully feeling even more supportive. My first two pregnancies I did not have any friends or family around. I gotta say my hub is more attentive these days than way back then. They learn and grow too.

  • Kara (#)
    June 30th, 2017

    I feel your pain – my husband was sent away on business when I was 6 months pregnant and didn’t come back until the week I was induced. I wasn’t best pleased at the time. Hope he is back soon

  • Heather (#)
    June 30th, 2017

    My daughter was six when her little sister was born so I feel like I always had a little excited kid around to chat with! It definitely is hard when your partner isn’t home though.

  • Glenda (#)
    June 30th, 2017

    I’m sure it is got to be difficult being pregnant and alone. My husband worked long hours but I made sure to stay busy. I also hung out with my family and close friends. You listed some great tips to keep you busy!

  • Shannon Gurnee (#)
    June 29th, 2017

    It’s gotta be so hard being alone while your husband travels and you’re pregnant. I find that looking through my social media channels and playing games help the time to go by faster. Of course spending time with your little ones helps too. 🙂

  • Baby Isabella (#)
    June 29th, 2017

    communication is key. talking about your feelings always helps and it must be very lonely having him away all the time. binge watching is a good way to feel the void and lots of cuddles with family members x

  • katriza (#)
    June 29th, 2017

    It can be rough and i’m glad you found ways to manage in your situation! Being pregnant alone really does suck and I’ve been there.

  • Misty Nelson (#)
    June 29th, 2017

    Oh, I know how you feel! My husband worked a lot when I was pregnant. It was so hard, I pretty much went stir crazy. All I can say is thank you Netflix for giving my something to binge watch and try to keep my mind occupied.

  • Brandi with Big Fit Fam (#)
    June 29th, 2017

    Pregnancy can be lonely even when the house is full as no one can really understand what your mind and body are going through…Great tips on how to help yourself get through those tough days!

  • Laura dove (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    Ahh pregnancy is tough let alone when you’re doing it alone. It’s great that you have found ways to get through it though.

  • Welsh Cakes and Wellies (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    Definitely catching up on girly programmes while he is away is the way to go. I save mine up for when my husband goes away and it feels like a treat. Hope the pregnancy is going well, it’s tiring when you’re pregnant and you have a little one too!

  • Stephanie (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    Pregnancy can be so lonely especially when you haven’t got someone there everyday to chat to, and share any worries. Great tips for people to do to help

  • Cassie Tucker (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    At least you have found ways to help keep you occupied. Pregnancy is never easy and I imagine it is even more so when you don’t have someone there to support you, even if it is temporary.

  • Blythe Alpern (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    I don’t have kids, but I can only imagine what it would be like to be in your 3rd trimester and have your hubby away on biz trips. Surrounding yourself with a great support system and keeping yourself busy can definitely help.

  • michenn (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    There are times when my boyfriend has to go on business trips and it can be lonely but honestly, I kind of like the alone time. I binge watch my favorite shows, lounge around in bed or try to use that time to catch up with friends. If it’s longer than a weekend, it definitely can get lonely though…

  • reesa (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    My husband was in the military when I was pregnant, so I can sympathize with the worry. I hope you are feeling well!

  • Cindy Ingalls (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    Seems like you’re making great use of keeping yourself occupied while your hubby is gone. It’s nice to have a support system around when your pregnant, from friends to pets.

  • Journa Ramirez (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    Same.. Being pregnant triggers deep emotions and you have to be tough. I admire you for having great courage! Sending lots of love

  • Katie (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    My husband is currently deployed so I know how ya feel. He left right after my daughter turned one. Mostly I feel bad that he doesn’t get to see how much she has been learning and how much she has changed. You can do this! Hang in there!

  • jalisa (#)
    June 28th, 2017

    I hated the loneliness after pregnancy while my husband worked so much I couldn’t imagine during that delicate time before hand. You see to be doing great.

  • Melissa Chapman (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    You are doing such a great job during those tough lonely times. I admire you for staying active and using the time constructively.

  • Kizzy (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    I can’t imagine how hard and worrying it must be being on your own when you’re so far on in your pregnancy.

  • Terri Steffes (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    Don’t forget emailing your blogging friends! I would be happy to chat with you on Facebook, too! My husband was a coach during my pregnancy. I was on the phone…. A LOT.

  • Rachel (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    Aww lovely post to read. I found it hard being pregnant, having a 1 year old and partner working away. It was hard to juggle midwives trip and school pick ups. I like to be in a routine!!

  • Michelle Murray (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    Having your other half away from home must be tough on you especially now when pregnant. I definitely agree binge watching is the perfect company when alone.

  • Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    I couldn’t imagine being without my hubby while pregnant. Good for you for coming up with ideas to keep yourself busy while he is away!

  • Angela Tolsma (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    My husband occasionally goes out of town for work and we live in a new city so it’s quite stressful for me to be on my own. I can’t even image that happening while pregnant. Looks like you have some good tips and I hope the time spends by for you.

  • Sophie's Nursery (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    Must be really difficult for you, especially at such a later stage in pregnancy. It’s lovely that you have a strong support system available 🙂 I too love binge watching TV when feeling a bit down !! x

  • robin rue (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    That must be so tough, but it sounds like you are making the best of it. Hopefully no more trips until long after the baby comes.

  • Chloe (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    Having your OH away from home must be tough but you seem to be adapting to it well. I love the idea of having daddy videos ready for the morning to get over the time difference.

  • Jon (#)
    June 27th, 2017

    I think binge watching is the way to go here. You can never feel lonely if you throw on your favorite TV show!

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