I workout a lot and it allows me to still maintain a few treats or snacks that leave me feeling like I am not restricted – yes I could be healthier but I like to tip toe the line :p! In order to maintain this, I have to work hard to make sure that if I do have a sweet treat, that I only have one…. if I have had a naughty lunch then I have a healthy dinner,… have I had a takeaway recently?… ok well then we won’t go out for dinner the following day.
My problems, however, start because of (what I like to call) “an absence of self control”…
Unfortunately this year Christmas turned into a binge eating and drinking fest! I just couldn’t stop myself. I am an overeater and although I work very hard to eat in moderation and to control my portion sizes, (I wrote about some of the ways I cope with food in my other post “Weight Loss Food Hacks“) I completely fell off the food wagon! Unfortunately for me “I can resist anything except temptation” (Oscar Wild)
Even though I did the 12 Days of Fitmas challenge this year and went for a run every day over the holidays I still put on around half a stone because of the food and drink that I consumed. It is not normal, it is not healthy and I don’t enjoy the feeling of powerlessness that accompanies the “wake up period” when you realise that you’ve fallen into the same trap you have before.
and this realisation is shortly accompanied by…
Once I realise that I am now in a cycle of binging and indulging (again) this is what tends to go through my head:
“What if I can’t get under control?”
“What if I gain all of that weight back?”
“What if people call me a failure?”
“I don’t have the strength to lose it all again”
“How could I do this to myself after all my hard work?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I just have 1?”
“I might as well give up this time!”
After I have a day (or two) of wallowing in my own self pity, it’s time to pick myself up again! (let’s just assume I am naturally a bit of a nutcase at this point)
I remember… it wasn’t all sunshine and roses losing the weight the first time, I had to work HARD and it sometimes felt like a continuous failure but determination and persistence won out, and they will again! The tips I talk about in my weight loss food hacks are how I try to keep myself in control and deal with the urges to binge and overeat, I try to remove temptations and I go back to the basics!
Usually I will only have a bad day or a bad week, but this time I fell off for a month and it had serious consequences, but I try to remember I have felt like this before and failure and success don’t last forever! I am on a journey to change my attitude towards food, and I will slip up – as long as I don’t give up!
I have to say, it happens less often now and I feel that the healthier I live (day to day), the easier it is to deal with the temptation of overeating and indulging… so maybe I just like living on the edge, or maybe I am never going to be completely healthy (I think I like cake too much) but I will always fight for what I want and at the moment that seems to be enough to get me back “on the wagon” again!
To be honest, it is more the realisation that your journey isn’t over just because you hit your goal weight, in the same way that a bad day or a week won’t make you gain it all back.